LonELy LiFe

Mommy, please don’t worry ’cause
I’m doing really well,
Even though I miss you

Wishing you were with me ’cause
In that case I could tell
You all the things that happened to me

I love you even though you can’t
understand what i am going through right now
But I know you love me, too,
‘Cause I’m your little child.

And I’m sure that you will come
To me someday, somehow,
And I will see you look at me
And know that you have smiled.

It’s been a bad day I’m getting used to it now another sad day I’d cry but I dunno how I’m drowning in thoughts of how things used to be my chest was shut tight complete w/ purity It’s out in the open should’ve kept to myself I’ll learn from mistakes take my heart off the shelf my soul has now fled it’s my body alone and it’s far too much hurt for my heart to come home I give it up now there’s no way to win w/o you here my world still spins It’s been a bad day I’ll try to let it not show another sad day and I’m just letting go….

Remember my theory about saying love too many times can diminish the value of the word, well I was wrong my sweet. It always feels like its being said for the very first time, as though all I ever had to offer to anyone is offered all at once to you, and for an instant, I feel week and powerless, my heart exhausted, but never vulnerable, for I know you will be there to receive my love, and then replenish it each moment a thought of you runs through my head.

I have to let you go now. You don’t love me. Even if you think you do, it’s just not there…not really. You called me things, like stupid, selfish and boring…talking to the dumb kid. But I’m none of those things and I still believed you when you said them. Both of us were wrong and if I didn’t recognize that now, those things you said would be true by now.

The fact is, I know you didn’t mean them to be the way they are, or maybe you did, but I can’t change that, and still, those words border emotional abuse. That’s not love and I won’t tolerate it. For someone who "wants me more than I know" those aren’t the right words, but you said them anyway. People who love each other and make it are the people who know how to push each other’s buttons and just don’t.

Of course it’s not just about that. It’s because you don’t even try, if I was something you wanted, you would. You might take the time, if I were really something tangible to you, and you’d have a vested interest in my "getting better," something I really need support and council and help with right now. But you do what you do and say what you say…you throw me to the side until you feel like it and nothing changes.

Unfortunately that’s not good enough for me. Not when you then expect me, on your whim, to take my clothes off and be apart of you…let you into the deepest part of me and be closer with me than any other man I know.

A I know it’s my choice. I wanted you there. That doesn’t make it right. I can’t do that anymore, knowing the things you think of me. I won’t wait for you to miss me like some sort of reward, and then in the same breath be punished when you don’t feel like it.

Even if it does make you angry to hear it, you punish me that way; withholding telling me things that might make me smile because in your eyes I’ve screwed up again, thought too much of something you said, or too much of myself that I would think I deserved to hear anything flattering from you. But I do deserve better than that.

For the record, you are a hell of a guy, just maybe not the guy for me. Even though I thought so. Even though I might still think so. I really did love you, unconditionally, with all that I was. If you could see me writing this then you might even know that I still do, the difference is, I just can’t anymore.

For the record, I’m sure gonna miss you. Good luck with everything. I know you’ll turn into something beyond amazing, and take all the opportunities in life you deserve to have. Thank you for your time, and thank you for making a difference by being who you are.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be enough. Goodbye

Purity once had a name,
And beauty once had a face.
Life once had a meaning,
And once I was safe.
Once there was freedom,
And once I could laugh.
Happiness once was alive,
And once I had another half.
Once I shared her love,
Once I was by her side,
Once I felt I fitted,
So quickly that died.
Her grace so great,
Her beauty so vast,
All I ever wanted,
Was for it to last.
Fate maybe had another plan,
Or maybe she had another love,
But it all fell apart,
The hand too big for the glove.
Now it’s all died away,
Happiness, joy, love; all memories.
Now I walk alone in this dark, dark world,
With no light to guide my way.

Why do we have to part while
the love is still there?
Why do we have to suffer?
Why do we have to cry when
somebody bids goodbye?
Why do beginnings have an end?
Why do we have to meet
only to lose in the end?

There are questions left unanswered,
words left unsaid, letters left unread,
poems left undone, songs left unsung,
love left unexpressed,
promises left unfulfilled.

In a relationship,
one of the hardest things to do
is saying goodbye and letting go.
It is as hard as breaking a crystal
because you’ll never know when you
will be able to pick up the pieces again.
More often than not, they who go,
feel not the pain of parting:
it is they who stay behind that suffer,
because they are left
with memories of a love
that was meant to be,
a love that was.

At the beginning and at the end
of a relationship,
we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone.
Unfair as it may seem,
but that’s the way love goes.
That’s the drama, the bittersweet
and the risk of falling in love.
After all, nothing is constant but change.
Everything will eventually come to its end
without us knowing when,
without us knowing how,
without us even knowing why.
And we must forget not because we have to
but because we have to.

In letting go, sorrows come
not as a single spy but in batallion.
It seems that everywhere you go,
everything you do,
every song you hear,
every turn of your head,
every move of your body,
every beat of your heart,
every blink of your eye and every breath
you take always reminds you of him.
It’s like a stab of a knife,
a torture in the night.
Funny how the whole world
becomes depopulated
when only one person is missing.
Just imagine,
there are billion people on earth
and yet it seems you feel lonely
and empty without the other.

I don’t know if it’s worth calling an art,
but letting go entails
special skills sparkled
with a considerable space and time.
Time heals all wounds but it takes
a little push on our part.
Acceptance plays a part.
Not all love stories end with
"…and they live happily ever after."

Sometimes we have to part because of
circumstances beyond our control.
We have to suffer if it would
mean happiness for others.
We have to cry to
temporarily let go of the pains.
Every beginning has its end
like every dawn has its dusk.
It’s something we can’t control,
something we had to live up.

It’s over.
He or She is gone. But life has to go on.
Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever.
There will always be a place and time
where questions will be answered,
words will be spoken,
letters will be read,
poems will be recited in the night,
songs will be sung in harmony,
love will be expressed in solitude and
promises will be fulfilled.
Somewhere. Somehow. Someday.

it hurts to say goodbye to someone who has touched you and became part of your life, but it hurts more to let go of a person who was never really yours but has change your whole life.

I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
The feeling just kept on shining through
Haven’t know you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much too much too strong

No I don’t want to start no trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I’m going through
Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes

It s hard to beliv a persn cn live like dis, mising u ol d tym. At least it’s not the only thing I think about.Wen n school I think about class,but sometimes u drift n2 my mind,wen I see 2 pipol loving each other,or f I hear something funny.And der is work, most of d time I am 2 busy to think of you,but wen it s slow there u are.u are always there wen I have nothing 2 do. I think of how I would rather be doing nothing with you around rather than alone.And always as I go to bed.I snuggle up to the pillow pretending it is your chest as I rest my head upon it.It has been making me sad lately.More sad than I want to get.I hear all the stories of love, I watch as my friends run off and get married, I know you always think that I am too young, but that doesn’t stop anyone else.Sometimes wen I am alone,thinking of u,missing u, I think about how you r probably having a great time.How u r surrounded by the pipol u care about,doing the things u want to be doing,and not thinking of or missing me. And it hurts.When I have those thoughts I try 2 tell myself dat we r just in different places,u want to have fun,be free and young,and f we wer always together that couldn’t be.But recently like I said I have been sad.I don’t want to make excuses for you.I don’t want to have to make myself feel better,I don’t want this constant reminder that we are apart and that you don’t mind it.I think it is moot for me to write this you already know how I feel. It scares me sometimes.The thought of it always being like this, it chills me.In my heart I know someday you will come to want the same things from our relationship as I do,u will someday value me and I value u.But my head sometimes doubts it.My head suggests the idea dat u will never change.You will always want to be free;u will alwys see me as a prson in ur life dat u care about,but no more than dat.Or maybe u will someday see dat another person is worth making scrifices for,another person mkes ur lyf complete,but dat person won’t be me.

__________________________________________________________________________

Who am i?old enough not to be writing fan letters,but a fan letter is just another way of expressing love.at least it can be.
Only if I knew how you felt about me.
Only if I knew how much I meant to you.
Only if I knew how much longer I could bear this overwhelming
feelings I have for you.
Do you know I have been in love with you, you have become
the sweetest person I have ever known that I want to be with?
You put a smile on my face, you make me feel comfortable, and
you see my good sides and tolerate my littel quirks. You have
told me a couple of times I cannot be your girlfriend.
Even if you tell me that I cannot be with you thousands miles
away, I want you to know, you are and will be in my heart.

This is the place where I can say all the things I need to say to you
This letter will be read by anyone who wants to see it, except you.
The funny thing is, we have been friends and I have shared the deepest of secrets with you
But I can’t bring myself to tell you that I am in love with you
I can’t bring myself to tell you that any person I meet cannot compete with you
I have sat in my room so many nights and cried myself to sleep
Longing for you, dreaming about you
Wondering what it must feel like to be your girlfriend
Wondering if she sees how truly wonderful you are.I revisit every hug, every touch, every look that has been exchanged between us
All of them have been like fire on my skin
You have awakened things in me that I thought were long lost
in my dreams you come to me………beautiful
Your full lips planting butterfly kisses all along my face
Your hands all over me and I am so grateful
To hear you profess your love for me brings me to tears

But that’s just the dream
In reality, you have a girlfriend and i am just your friend
And that has to be enough for me
Because I have to have you near, whatever the cost I love you, I love you so much it pains me
But I still hope, I still hope one day I can reveal my truest desire to you
And I still hope that one day you will reveal that you have loved me all along too