LonELy LiFe

it hurts to say goodbye to someone who has touched you and became part of your life, but it hurts more to let go of a person who was never really yours but has change your whole life.

I knew it was there
Though I tried to hide it
The feeling just kept on shining through
Haven’t know you that long
So I try to deny it
But the feeling was much too much too strong

No I don’t want to start no trouble
Between you and I and your lover
But I must tell you what I’m going through
Everytime you walk by I see love in your eyes

It s hard to beliv a persn cn live like dis, mising u ol d tym. At least it’s not the only thing I think about.Wen n school I think about class,but sometimes u drift n2 my mind,wen I see 2 pipol loving each other,or f I hear something funny.And der is work, most of d time I am 2 busy to think of you,but wen it s slow there u are.u are always there wen I have nothing 2 do. I think of how I would rather be doing nothing with you around rather than alone.And always as I go to bed.I snuggle up to the pillow pretending it is your chest as I rest my head upon it.It has been making me sad lately.More sad than I want to get.I hear all the stories of love, I watch as my friends run off and get married, I know you always think that I am too young, but that doesn’t stop anyone else.Sometimes wen I am alone,thinking of u,missing u, I think about how you r probably having a great time.How u r surrounded by the pipol u care about,doing the things u want to be doing,and not thinking of or missing me. And it hurts.When I have those thoughts I try 2 tell myself dat we r just in different places,u want to have fun,be free and young,and f we wer always together that couldn’t be.But recently like I said I have been sad.I don’t want to make excuses for you.I don’t want to have to make myself feel better,I don’t want this constant reminder that we are apart and that you don’t mind it.I think it is moot for me to write this you already know how I feel. It scares me sometimes.The thought of it always being like this, it chills me.In my heart I know someday you will come to want the same things from our relationship as I do,u will someday value me and I value u.But my head sometimes doubts it.My head suggests the idea dat u will never change.You will always want to be free;u will alwys see me as a prson in ur life dat u care about,but no more than dat.Or maybe u will someday see dat another person is worth making scrifices for,another person mkes ur lyf complete,but dat person won’t be me.

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Who am i?old enough not to be writing fan letters,but a fan letter is just another way of expressing love.at least it can be.
Only if I knew how you felt about me.
Only if I knew how much I meant to you.
Only if I knew how much longer I could bear this overwhelming
feelings I have for you.
Do you know I have been in love with you, you have become
the sweetest person I have ever known that I want to be with?
You put a smile on my face, you make me feel comfortable, and
you see my good sides and tolerate my littel quirks. You have
told me a couple of times I cannot be your girlfriend.
Even if you tell me that I cannot be with you thousands miles
away, I want you to know, you are and will be in my heart.

This is the place where I can say all the things I need to say to you
This letter will be read by anyone who wants to see it, except you.
The funny thing is, we have been friends and I have shared the deepest of secrets with you
But I can’t bring myself to tell you that I am in love with you
I can’t bring myself to tell you that any person I meet cannot compete with you
I have sat in my room so many nights and cried myself to sleep
Longing for you, dreaming about you
Wondering what it must feel like to be your girlfriend
Wondering if she sees how truly wonderful you are.I revisit every hug, every touch, every look that has been exchanged between us
All of them have been like fire on my skin
You have awakened things in me that I thought were long lost
in my dreams you come to me………beautiful
Your full lips planting butterfly kisses all along my face
Your hands all over me and I am so grateful
To hear you profess your love for me brings me to tears

But that’s just the dream
In reality, you have a girlfriend and i am just your friend
And that has to be enough for me
Because I have to have you near, whatever the cost I love you, I love you so much it pains me
But I still hope, I still hope one day I can reveal my truest desire to you
And I still hope that one day you will reveal that you have loved me all along too